Planning your commitment ceremony
Use a preexisting structure
When it comes to planning your commitment ceremony, some prefer to model the ceremony on a preexisting tradition. Modelling your ceremony on some sort of preexisting tradition or ritual can help structure your event. Using a preexisting template can help you with having new ideas about what to do. Having a structure can sometimes help with creativity.
At the same time, modelling your commitment ceremony on another tradition may also bring constraints. And with time you may find that you start to be controlled by what has been done in the past by others, rather than working out what you wish to do in the future to recognize and celebrate your partnership.
To help avoid this, take time to think about what it is that you wish to take from your preexisting ceremony structure and only use those elements. Make a list of these elements so you don’t forget what you want to have in your ceremony.
Also, think about what you don’t want to use and what doesn’t feel right. Make a list of these items as well. Making a list of these items can help you rule them out of your ceremony. Also, writing these items down may help save you time if there are a number of people helping you to plan the ceremony.
Identify your ideal ceremony
Thinking about what feels rights for you and your partner, and what is relevant to you both will help you design a commitment ceremony unique to you and your partner. Make a list of your ideal ceremony and enjoy some blue-sky thinking.
It becomes easier to work out what is possible once you work out what your ideal ceremony is.
Agree on the larger details
For example, commitment ceremonies can involve just you and your partner. Alternatively, they can involve a small group of people who are close to the both of you. In contrast, commitment ceremonies can involve public declarations of love witnessed by a large group of friends and family.
Again, there are no right or wrongs. What is important is that you do what feels right for you.
Don’t overdo it
Remember, you can have more than one commitment ceremony in your life. The ceremony that you have in your twenties might be quite different to the one you have with your partner when you are both a little older.
So, don’t feel afraid to not do everything that you would like to do this time around. Avoid having a ceremony with too many different components. Sometimes, less really is more.
Commitment ceremony checklist
Although some prefer to have their ceremony evolve organically, preparing a commitment ceremony checklist can also help you plan your event. Here are a few essential items to consider adding to your list:
- Type of ceremony – public, intimate, large
- Date of ceremony
- Guest list
- Length of ceremony
- Symbolism, readings, promises
- Who to involve
- Photos / video
- Commitment ceremony holiday